


Be Better. For Them.

by mistyknight



Series: better is subjective, anyways [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, POV Alternating, hard of hearing character, mute character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:37:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistyknight/pseuds/mistyknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Thank the Creator that his instincts are slower than his brain (a weakness, Captain Phasma told him with a sneer once), because it’s only B.B.</p><p>Well, there’s nothing ‘only’ about B.B., but it is B.B., Poe running over with that ridiculous little rolly backpack that pilots have."</p><p>or: the one where Finn is a disillusioned soldier a hairs breadth away from dishonorable discharge, Poe is BB-8's dad and a commercial airline pilot, and BB-8 is mute, cute, agender, and fed up with Poe not going for the gold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. FN-2187: Soldier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as a black and latinx individual, i would like to say how stocked stormpilot has me for life rn
> 
> i would also like to mention that 98% of these characters, as written here, are poc. 
> 
> i don't know how the army works, and the italicized bits are flashbacks. 
> 
> thank you and good night

“Are you sure you want to do this, Private FN-2187?” Captain Phasma asked of the soldier stood in front of her.

_Blood soaks into the sand until the sand can’t absorb any more._

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am,” FN-2187 replied, snapping the crisp salute that the Captain demands of all her troops.

The opening to the spacious tent flapped in the breeze. Two soldiers stand in silhouette outside, waiting.

_A hungry child cries out from want._

“Do you understand what this entails?” the Captain pressed, leaning forward in her chair, highly interested in his answer.

He wanders what she would look like-what any of them look like- without the ever-present helmets. If she would be beautiful, like an avenging angel or a scorned lover.

_A survivor, a woman shrouded in cloth, begins a prayer loudly. BR-1535 makes it so she never finishes it._

Phasma sat up straight, reassuming her full, towering height.

“I will let this stand as a case of Entry Level Separation, since this was your first live fire fight and you’ve had an excellent track record until now,” the Captain starts.

“But if I hear a peep, a squeak, even a breath from or about you, I will not hesitate to court martial you and have you prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for what happened here today. Your Entry Level Separation designation will be downgraded to a dishonorable discharge and accompanied with a very lengthy stay in a maximum security military prison.”

_“Torch the buildings. Nothing and nobody makes it out of here” the Captain commands._

“Director Ren and Assistant Director Hux do not care about those villagers out there. The government certainly doesn’t,” the Captain snorted a laugh. “Hell, I’ll probably receive a commendation for what we accomplished today.”

_“Be better. For them,” FN-2003 whispers as he sweeps a hand across FN-2187’s face. His hand falls limp before he finishes the caress._

“Are we clear, Private FN-2187?” the Captain asked as she arched a meticulously up kept brow.

_FN-2187 expected a bigger fight. What kind of terrorist cell has only one gun- an ancient rifle at that- for a population of 200?_

“Clear as crystal, ma’am,” FN-2187 answered.

If it hadn’t been trained out of him, he’d be sweating profusely.

_This was not what they were briefed on._

The Captain sighed. “It’s a shame, really. When I recruited you, when I saw your test scores, I thought to myself, ‘He will do our country proud, I just know it’.” The Captain slumped in her chair, just a little. “Even I’m wrong, once in a blue moon.”

_This is not the mission they prepared for._

“You may go now,” the Captain said as she waved towards the tents opening.

_“Man, why do you even hang around me? Everyone thinks I’m Phasma’s pet or spy or something,” FN-2187 jokingly asks FN-2003 one day while they lunch._

_FN-2003 puts down his fork and looks FN-2187 in the eyes._

_“Because you’re the only one who gets it,” FN-2003 tells him with earnest eyes._

“Captain, before I leave, if you could tell me FN-2003’s civilian name? Please.” asks FN-2187, hoping beyond hope that he gets an answer.

The Captain looked shocked for a moment, before her face morphed into that of the cat who got into the cream.

“You mean he never told you?” she asked.

“No, ma’am,” FN-2187 answered, still staring at a spot a little over the Captain’s left shoulder.

“As a good soldier should, FN-2187. I told you on the first day, Private. You are not allowed to have attachments. Not even to a name,” she smiles.

_FN-2003 may be the one dying, but it’s FN-2187 who can’t pull oxygen into his lungs._

“Now off you go. Your flight leaves at 0400,” the Captain dismissed him with another wave towards the tent opening and a pointed look.

FN-2187 salutes Captain Phasma one last time. “Yes, ma’am. Goodbye, ma’am,” he says, and leaves the room.

_“Be better. For them.”_


	2. Poe Dameron: Pilot

Poe Dameron was raised by Aden and Erna Bey on their farm and didn’t even realize that that wasn't the Creator's honest truth until his fourth birthday.

“Come and say hello to your mother and father on your big day, Poe,” Erna tells him when he stumbles out of his room, still wiping the sleep from his eyes. In the living room sit his parents and a young couple, probably friends of his parents.

Poe thought it was suspiciously early for visitors, but he didn’t say anything about it.

“Good morning, mommy. Good morning, daddy. Hullo, Mister and Miss Visitor. I’m gonna go out back to get the eggs for breakfas' now,” Poe said as he delivered sloppy kisses to Erna’s and Aden's cheeks before leaving through the kitchen door.

He doesn’t see the stricken looks on the faces that he left behind.

~~~

“I don’t get it,” Poe tells his father mournfully after breakfast. They're sitting in the living room while his mom and the people who insist that they are his Real Mommy and Real Daddy pack up his room.

“Well, buddy,” his dad- who keeps insisting that Poe call him 'Gram pa"- says with a sigh. “Do you remember the stories we tell you at bedtime?”

Poe doesn’t have to think very hard about the question. All the stories that he’d ever been told featured the same two people.

“You mean the ones about the Fearless Shara and the Brave Kes?” Poe asks, just to be sure.

Aden looks at him warily before coughing into his fist.

“Well, what if I told you that those stories were real?” Aden asks.

It didn’t take long for stars to form in Poe’s eyes. He always loved those stories, couldn’t get enough about Shara, the legendary fighter pilot who not even the Creator could catch if she had enough fuel, or Kes, the decorated sergeant who marched into every battle with his troops.

“Daddy, are you joking? Imma big kid now, you don’t have to lie to me anymore,” Poe told him, bouncing in his seat.

Aden laughs, but it doesn’t sound funny. “‘Fraid not, buddy.”

Poe stopped bouncing long enough to aim his fiercest glare at him. “Are you sure, daddy? I’m four. I can handle the truth, I promise.”

Aden squares his shoulders, and Poe knows that all nonsense had left the room.

“Bud, what if I told you that those people upstairs are Shara and Kes, and that they’re really you’re real parents?”

~~~

Poe lived like a man betrayed for 2 years until Shara takes him up in her little twin-engine plane on his 6th birthday.

That day, he thinks that _maybe_ he can see their side of things now. A little. If he squints his eyes and looks at it from 2,000 feet above the ground.

When they land, his grandparents (he can’t think of them as ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’ anymore. it makes real mommy cry and real daddy go on long walks) are there waiting alongside his daddy and all of his cousins, aunts, uncles and hold a large, frosted cake.

After that, Shara takes Poe up in her plane 2, 3, 4 times a week. He loves flying more than he loves bedtime stories or cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Flying clears his mind, and finally, he decides to give his parents a chance.

He learns that his mother is so full of love and infectious energy that his father can’t help but indulge her, and by proxy, Poe as well. His days are wonderful, and he can definitely see what all of the fuss was about.

The one thing he never understands is why his grandmother always yells and cries when she comes to visit.

“You shouldn’t do this to him, Shara. Let him make his own destiny,” his grandmother would say.

When she left (she always left; Poe asked her once why, and she said, "I can't bear to watch it happen again") his mommy would smile and whisper to Poe like its a secret: “Us Bey folk, we're made for the sky. It’s only when we’re on the ground long enough that we grow roots. That's when we're vulnerable.”

~~~

His mother is dead 2 years later, when both of her feet were firmly on the ground, like she said.

At her funeral, his dad tells the mourners, “You know how it is. The brighter they burn, the faster they burn out,” and gives a tired laugh.

Later on, his grandmother places a hand on his shoulder and tells him, “At least they came back for you before it was too late.”

All Poe can think about that day is how much his mother would hate being buried under the earth.

~~~

When he’s old enough to, Poe moves clear across the country to a sprawling city. Its somewhere where the stars look different in the sky and the air doesn’t taste completely clean until your at least 5,000 feet above the ground.

He finds good, honest works a pilot with the fire department in the mountainous region. Work is sporadic and the pay isn’t stellar, but the fire fighters are good people and he is happy with what he has.

His best friend in the city is Jessika Pava. She's an Ambulatory EMR pilot, and amazing. Her roommate, Snap Wexley, is an Air Force pilot. They let him crash on their couch for free when work is slow, but tell him that they only keep him around because he is a _spectacular_ wing-man. They make him do chores and learn how to cook and act like Poe couldn't charm their literal pants off at any given moment.

It’s rare that they’re ever all at the apartment at the same time, but when they are, it’s magic.

Life is good, great even, and he can’t even picture himself ever doing anything else.

~~~

The day his child is born, he quits the fire department.

He thinks maybe he finally understands what his grandma was saying all those years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew, i hope nobody is allergic to backstories. or tonal shifts. something that i couldn't figure out how to work into the fic is that 4 y.o. poe never actually called aden and erna 'daddy' and 'mommy' until shara and kes show up as challenge everything poe holds to be true. before that, he just kinda spoke to aden and erna without identifiers


	3. B.B., age 8: Self-Proclaimed Child Prodigy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things in quotation marks are dialogue, either verbal or written down. things inside the brackets are sign language. i mostly based the sign language language patterns after asl, but i'm still learning, so it's probably not 100% right.

“Welcome, ladies, gents, distinguished guests, aboard Flight 492. I’m your pilot, Poe Dameron, and this is my co-pilot, Ello Asty. We will be reaching our destination in approximately 6 hours 42 minutes, landing at our destination around 5:42 a.m. In the mean time, please be nice to our lovely flight attendants and don't forget to enjoy the flight,” B.B.’s dad said with a smile and a wink before they went into the cockpit.

B.B. loves when their dad does that. Passengers are always nicer to the flight attendants when he flirts with them a little.

B.B. plays with their orange and white tie. It's identical to the one that their dad is wearing, even though it clashes with his suit. But it's not like anyone is going to cal Poe Dameron out on that fact.

Settled in for the long flight, B.B. looks around themselves at all of their fellow first-class passengers. Most of them were wealthy, and it showed. Turned up noses and tiny bottles of expensive alcohol a-plenty.

Only one person stood out, but only because B.B. saw Sidra bump his ticket up to first class seat across the aisle from B.B., free of charge.

The man didn’t have much. Just a green military backpack- with "FN-2187" stamped on it- that he fumbled to put in the overhead. 

Sidra demonstrates the flight safety instructions for the first class cabin as Pamich relayes the instructions over the comm for everyone to hear.

B.B. makes funny faces at her like they always do when she’s working the first class area, hoping to see her break character.

Sidra rolls her eyes at them when she's done with the demonstration before taking her seat for takeoff.

~~~

“Hi, I’m B.B. I am 8 years old, hard of hearing, and mute. Do you want to be my friend? Check yes for yes or no for no,” reads the note that B.B. passes to the man seated across the hall from them.

The man reads the note, and smiles a little. He gestures for B.B.’s pen, and B.B. passes it over.

The man makes a big show of scowling and pretending to be thinking really hard about the answer, and B.B. giggles silently at his antics.

The man passes back the slip of paper. Yes is checked, and he wrote under that, “I would love to be your friend. Hi, my name is ~~FN~~ Fortinbras.”

“Fortinbras? That’s a cool name. Oh I forgot to mention, I’m not a boy or a girl. I’m just me. If you don’t like that, then we can’t be friends :(“

“That’s really cool! I’ll try my best to remember that.”

“B.B., what are you up to?’” says their dad, and oops, they forgot that their dad comes by to check on them when the plane’s reached cruising altitude.

<I HAVE NEW FRIEND. HIS NAME F-O-R-T-I-N-B-R-A-S. SAY HI.> B.B. signs to their father, and then proceeds to ignore him to begin writing a long note to Fortinbras.

Poe swivels his attention to Fortinbras with a put upon sigh for B.B.'s benefit, his genuine smile on his lips instead of his customer service one. B.B. notices, and writes faster.

“Hi, Poe Dameron. Nice to meet you, Fortinbras,” Poe says, a hint of humor in his voice.

Fortinbras stares at Poe in awe for a moment before fear takes over.

“I wasn’t creeping on the kid, I swear" Fortinbra's says, still looking at Poe in fear.

"Hey, woah. I wasn't worried. B.B. knows how to take care of themselves, and they are an excellent judge of character. Maybe I should start over. Hi, Poe Dameron, pilot extraordinaire and B.B.'s dad. Nice to meet you," Poe says with an outstretched hand.

Fortinbras relaxes, and shakes Poe's hand.

"Fortinbras. Fortinbras Nakamura. Nice to meet you, Poe."

Poe raises his eyebrow at that, but doesn't say anything about it.

“I have to go back now. I fully expect the two of you to keep each others company,” Poe tells them sincerely, signing along with his words to make sure B.B. catches it all, before going back to the cockpit.

Fortinbras gives a weak wave to Poe’s back, and stares at the cockpit door until B.B. literally has to throw the note at his head to get his attention back.

  
~~~

  
The next time Poe comes out, B.B. makes an excuse, <SIDRA HELP ME WITH HOMEWORK NOW. BYE!> and is out of the seatbelt and into the flight attendants station in seconds.

Poe would yell after them, but it’s getting late, and besides, who knows how much B.B. would hear anyways?

In the flight attendants station, Sidra, Pamich and B.B. are having an animated conversation. Sidra and B.B. sign to each other while Pamich pages the flight attendants station at the rear of the plane to get their input and relay it to Sidra and B.B.

A light begins blinking, and Pamich huffs a sigh before going to see what the passenger is paging for.

While she's gone, Sidra signs to B.B. what the rear crew told to Pamich over the comm.

<REMEMBER WHEN YOUR DAD TRIP OVER ELLO’S BAG?> she signs.

<YES> B.B. signs back while nodding enthusiastically, curls bouncing everywhere.

<BECAUSE HE SEE YOUR FRIEND IN LINE. HIS EYES POP OUT HIS HEAD! HE FALL, HE STILL LOOKING AT YOUR FRIEND!> Sidra signs with a smug look.

<DON’T-FORGET TELL B.B. THAT WHY YOU GIVE HIM FIRST-CLASS SEAT> Pamich signs when she comes back.

B.B. is so happy they could scream.

~~~

Poe is approaching the cockpit, so B.B. makes a slashing movement to warn Sidra and Pamich. In seconds, their faces are arranged to the regular customer service face, the comm back in its receiver.

<YOU FORGET YOUR HOMEWORK AT YOUR SEAT> Poe signs, with a twinkle in his eye and B.B.’s homework packet in his hands.

B.B.’s eyes widen to comedic proportions. They snatch the packet, and briskly walk back to their seat before turning around and returning to the group of amused adults.

<I GO ASK F-O-R-T-I-N-B-R-A-S HELP ME WITH HOMEWORK BECAUSE SIDRA NO HELP> B.B. signs, and flees the scene before anyone objects.

“Friend Fortinbras, can you help me with my homework? Pretty please with a cherry on top?” B.B. writes on a note and passes it across the aisle once their settled in their seat.

“Umm, sure? But wouldn’t it be complicated, passing notes around?” Fortinbras writes back.

“No. You can talk. I try not to rely on my hearing, but i could hear if you talked,” B.B. writes.

“Are you sure you can hear me?” Fortinbras says, slightly too loud and slowly.

B.B. rolls their eyes and scribbles a note.

“I can hear kinda like hearing people since I’m wearing my hearing aids, so you don’t have to do that. Just face me when you talk,” B.B. writes.

Fortinbras ducks his head after he reads the note.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to treat you like you’re different” Fortinbras says sheepishly.

“It’s okay,” B.B. writes back, patting his hand across the aisle.

  
~~~

  
After an hour, Fortinbras is sufficiently bored enough to have fallen asleep.

 

 _Bingo_ , B.B. thinks.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen, I’m not saying that one for the B’s in B.B. stands for Bey in this fic, but that’s exactly what I’m saying. also, if you hated finn’s name, trust me, i hated it to. but i think it would be less special, not to mention hilarious, if i named him finn from the get-go. his name will be explained in due time


	4. Fortinbras Nakamura: Civilian

Fortinbras wakes up when the main cabin lights are turned on for the initial descent.

Someone’s laid a jacket across him while he slept.

He inspects the jacket. It’s tan leather with red patches on the front, the word ‘Bey’ embroidered on the breast. It looks kind off old; the leather is supple and well-worn, but it’s clear the jacket has seen plenty of tender love and care.

A slip of paper falls to the ground when he shakes the jacket out.

“You were cold, so here’s a jacket. Sidra wouldn’t let me buy a blanket on account of I don’t have a credit card. XOXO, B.B., age 8”

He turns towards B.B., most likely to return the jacket, but the little rascal is asleep under a suspiciously similar miniature version of the jacket that Fortinbras is clutching in confusion.

When the plane lands, B.B. blinks awake. Fortinbras tries to draw B.B.’s attention, but B.B. looks everywhere but at him.

Which means that Fortinbras is forced to hold onto the jacket as he approaches the exit. It's not ver far, however, from where he was seated, so he doesn’t really have the time to formulate a well-thought out plan.

“Umm, I kinda woke up under this jacket? Only, I don’t know who it belongs to, and I tried to ask B.B. about it, but i guess they took their hearing aids out? Because they didn’t hear me. So?” he babbled, a ridiculously hopeful expression on his face as he asked the flight attendant who gave him the first class seat.

Suddenly, she looked way too chipper for 5:00 in the morning as she pointed a finger at Poe.

Fortinbras takes a moment to consider his fate, gaze flicking rapidly between Poe and what he now understands to be Poe’s jacket.

Someone clears their throat behind him, so he practically lobs the jacket at Poe’s head before speeding away from the scene down the jetway.

  
~~~

  
“Alright, Mrs. Washington. I’ll call you back when I’m down the street. Sorry for waking you up,” Fortinbras sighs into the pay phone before hanging it up. He hefts up the backpack that holds all of his worldly possessions, and walks toward the bus stall to start the long trip way across town to the Washington’s.

The bus pulls up, and as he stands in line to board, someone crashes into his back.

His fight or flight instincts kick in, only, he’s been trained out of flight. He knows, _instinctively knows_ , that he’s surrounded by civilians, but Creator, he’s wired like a snare trap right now. He turns around, not really sure what he plans to do when he does, but ready to do it anyways.

Thank the Creator that his instincts are slower than his brain ( _a weakness_ , Captain Phasma told him with a sneer once), because it’s only B.B.

Well, there’s nothing ‘only’ about B.B., but it is B.B., Poe running over with that ridiculous little rolly backpack that pilots have.

By the time Poe makes it over to them, the bus is pulling away. It’s not like he can get on the bus with a strangers kid hanging off of him. Another one will come around eventually.

Poe and B.B. sign rapidly to each other, and he might not know sign language, but he can tell that they are talking about him just by how often they gesture at him.

He’s about to say something, seeing as he is a key member of the conversation, even if he can't understand most of what's going on, when Poe finally talks to him.

“B.B. says that they are surprised you’re still here.”

“I’m surprised you guys are still here, too. We landed like two hours ago,”he says. He’s not sure who he should be directing his speech to, but he hedges his bets and faces B.B.

“It’s only been two hours? B.B., we’re getting better at this.” Poe says aloud and signs.

“....This?” Fortinbras asks.

“Well, um, there’s all the usual stuff pilots have to do. Paperwork and stuff. But we also stay back to clean out the plane.” Poe explains.

“Huh,” Fortinbras adds elegantly.

B.B. signs something to Poe that makes Poe choke on his own spit.

Poe signs back to B.B., but it looks like he loses that battle, because he resignedly tells Fortinbras: “B.B. wants me to tell you that we also spend about 30 minutes after every flight dealing with what B.B. calls the newest members of the Poe Dameron fan club.”

Fortinbras laughs at that, and they stand there in warm silence for a minute.

“You’re taking the bus into town?” Poe asks eventually.

“Yeah. I was trying to call up my friend, since I stay at his and his moms house when I'm in town, but he didn’t answer. So I called the house phone, and his mom said that he’s,” he flicks his eyes to B.B., “out of town. Will be for a while. She said that I can still stay at their place, so I’m headed that way. Or at least, I will be, when another bus comes along.” He shrugs.

B.B. signs to Poe again.

“B.B. would like to invite you to breakfast to make up for making you miss your bus.”

What's he going to do, say no?

~~~

  
Poe drives, and they pull up to a dinner where , apparently, everyone knows them.

“Poe! B.B.! Welcome back to town. Who’s your handsome new acquaintance?” the hostess asks.

“Amandla, meet Fortinbras. Fortinbras, meet the nosiest hostess this side of the country,” Poe says with a large grin.

Amandla swats at Poe’s arm in mock indignation.

“So I guess you won’t be sitting in your usual booth, then?” Amandla asks with a conspiratorial smirk as she walks them to a table.

“I’m afraid not,” Poe says, not a hint of actual apology in his voice.

“Too bad. Chef was looking forward to the rush,” says as she heads back to the command station by the front door.

Amandla had led them to a table meant for 4, but B.B. sat down first and kicked their legs up into the seat across from them, forcing Poe and Fortinbras to sit across from each other.

“Was that entire conversation with Amandla in code?” Fortinbras asks when they sit down before he looks through the menu.

Poe chuckles. 

“We have this deal with the owners that whenever we’re in town, if we sit in the window seat, they’ll comp half of our bill,” Poe explains.

“Why is that?” Fortinbras asks, even though he thinks he knows.

“It, uh, increases foot traffic to the restaurant,” Poe says with a shy look at him.

Fortinbras is still contemplating that tidbit when he opens the menu and is promptly overwhelmed by the sheer number of options available.

_And this is just the breakfast menu._

Poe clears his throat, and he looks up from perusing the menu.

“I’m sorry, it’s just,” Poe heaves a sigh. “B.B. is struggling with signing your name. I know that they would say that they aren’t, but it’s a lot of letters, and they don’t really know you well enough yet to give you a name sign. Do you have any nicknames?”

Was Poe blushing?

“Ha, I actually get asked that a lot, believe it or not,” Fortinbras says.

“I, uh. I’ve never had a nickname,” he says, mumbling towards his plate, “unless you count my military designation FN-2187.”

“My, uh, my first foster mother, I stayed with her for ten years. Her name was Lacey. Lacey Nakamura. Lovely lady, very strict. She loved Shapkespeare, and hated that I had no name on record when I came to her, so she gave me one.

“After I got moved, I mean, sure, I guess I had nicknames. But they’re not ones that i care to remember.”

Poe signed the highlights of what Fortinbras said to B.B., just in case they didn’t hear parts, and B.B. looked dismayed before rapidly signing to Poe, throwing glances at Fortinbras all the while.

“Whoa whoa whoa, buddy, slow down,” Poe says.

He turns to Fortinbras.

“Apparently, B.B. has a whole list of nicknames picked out for you, but they’re kinda... risqué,” Poe relays, rubbing his neck.

“Oh really? What kind of nicknames?” Fortinbras asks with a chuckle.

“The kind that you’re safer not knowing,” Poe laughs.

“Now I really gotta know,” he says, but Poe remains tightlipped.

“Fine. What would you name me then?” he asks, eyes bright.

Poe considers him for a minute.

“How about.... Finn?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finn's characterization is based pretty heavily on what it's like to live in the hood. 'black boy fly' by kendrick lamar is good, if anyone's interested.
> 
> all of b.b.'s suggestions are variations of dad (dad, step-dad, dad version 2, etc.). 
> 
> i don’t know what it’s like to be poe dameron levels of hot, but i’m pretty sure that this is what it’s like.
> 
> let me know if anything feels off. i can only write when i'm tired enough that my inhibitions are suppressed.


	5. Poe: An Idiot in Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh poe is so hard to write, probably because he’s so perfect and beautiful and has great hair

Fortinbras’s smile is so damn infectious, Poe is instantly reminded of his mother.

“Finn. I like that,” ~~For~~ Finn says, and there are smile all around the tables.

Hell, even the waitress is smiling. It's Lyra, and she's always smiling, but Poe is still counting it towards his win.

  
~~~

  
“So,” Poe says, “Finn.”

“So, Poe,” Finn replies with a grin.

They’ve ordered- B.B. something with way too much sugar, Poe with enough food for two, and Finn with not nearly enough- and they sit, sipping their drinks.

“How long are you in town for?” he asks with an easy grin.

Finn ducks his head.

“Um, indefinitely, actually,” he says, not really looking at anyone.

Luckily, Lyra brings the food before the silence gets too heavy.

Unluckily, the silence is still there, because there is no polite way to make conversation with a full mouth.

<NOW GOOD TIME TELL F-I-N-N YOU LOVE HIM> B.B. signs to Poe casually between bites.

Poe chokes on his food in surprise. Finn reaches around and thumps him on the back until he can properly breathe again. He leaves his hand on Poe's back for longer than strictly necessary, but it's not like he's gonna complain.

<SEE?> B.B. signs, cool as a cucumber.

“You hang out with Auntie Jess too much kiddo,” Poe says aloud.

B.B. sticks their tongue out at him.

Finn watches the both of them with a curious look before turning back to his toast and eggs.

  
~~~

  
Poe insists on footing the bill, paying the tip, and taking Finn all the way to the Washington’s.

“It’s way across town,” Finn argues, but it sounds weak to Poe.

“Don’t worry about it, Finn,” Poe says with a grin as they leave their table and head to the car. “It’s our fault that you’ve missed like, 10 buses. Besides, midday gridlock is the worst, I can’t let you go through that on your own.”

Finn grumbles, but he buckles in when they get to the car.

Poe is ready to pull the car out of the spot when B.B. taps on his shoulder.

<GIVE HIM YOUR PHONE> they sign.

<WHY?> Poe signs back.

<YOU CAN’T TEXT AND DRIVE. F-I-N-N NOT HAVE HIS OWN PHONE. MAKES SENSE.>B.B. signs with a look.

Poe turns back around in his seat, grabs his phone, and hands it to Finn.

“B.B. wants to talk to you, but since you don’t know Sign,” _yet_ , Poe thinks hopefully, “you can use my phone.”

“Ah,” Finn says when he accepts the phone.

Not two seconds pass before the phone charms. The chorus to The Offsprings’ song “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” blares from the tiny speaker.

“Whoops,” Poe says before turning the phone onto vibrate and throwing the car into gear.

He doesn’t know what they’re talking about, but whatever it is, it must be funny. Finn honest to Creator giggles a few times, and when Poe looks back at B.B., they are staring at their phone studiously.

When they finally reach the Washington’s- and Finn was right, it was in the ass-end of town- Finn waves a good-bye to B.B. He hands Poe back his phone and his hand lingers on Poe’s wrist.

“Thank you,” Finn tells him sincerely, not understanding how very much he is wrecking Poe in this moment.

“The pleasure was all mine,” Poe says with a grin.

B.B. kicks his seat.

“Ours. The was all ours,” Poe corrects, grin turning wry.

Finn slips from the car with a chuckle and a wave.

Poe waits until Finn gets indoors to start the drive home.

He only gets around the corner before he has to pull over and contemplate his luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter seems rough. is it rough?


	6. B.B., age 8: Mastermind

“B.B., who are you texting, looking so happy?” Auntie Jess asks when she wanders into the communal section of the house later that day.

B.B. is sprawled across the couch, but they’re quick to tuck away their phone, just in case. All’s fair in love and war, Uncle Snap told them once. They don’t know if Auntie Jess is friend or foe just yet.

<NOBODY> they sign with a vehement shake of their head.

Jess quirks an eyebrow.

<I SIGNING TRUTH> B.B. defends. After all, emails don't technically count as text messages when you really think about it.

Jess quirks her other eyebrow and smirks.

<MAN WHO YOUR DAD IN LOVE WITH?> she signs.

<WHO TOLD YOU?> B.B. signs, scandalized and distressed that there’s already a mole in their carefully planned op.

<CAN’T TELL SOURCES> Auntie Jess signs proudly.

<SIDRA> B.B. signs and falls face first onto the couch in despair.

Jess walks over and pats their shoulder.

“Don’t feel too bad, kid. Sidra tried, but nothing gets past me.”

B.B. looked up to glare at Jess before their glare crumples and they bury their head in the couch cushions again.

“You wanna see if we can get Auntie Rey in on this?”

B.B. takes a minute to contemplate this before looking up with a massive grin and giving her two thumbs up.

Jess pulls out her phone, shoots Rey a text, and puts her phone down.

<TELL ME ABOUT HIM> Jess signs to them.

B.B. signs <HIS NAME F-O-R-T-I-N-B-R-A-S BUT DAD GIVE HIM NEW NAME, F-I-N-N> before one then both of there phones signal that they received messages.

B.B. reads their message, and giggles silently, typing back rapidly.

“Hey, kid. Auntie Rey says we should throw a party this weekend and invite him over,” Jess tells them.

<GOOD IDEA! I EMAIL HIM NOW, TELL HIM> B.B. signs rapidly.

They high-five, matching smirks in place, and begin planning the slap-dash gathering.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i gotta admit, i didn’t see it at first, but now you can’t convince me that rey isn’t an ace lesbian


	7. Finn: Nervous Wreck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing in aave is hella hard when you don't know how familiar the audience is with it, so i tried to simplify it, but i don't know if i succeeded. it kinda morphed into half aave, half southern united states.

B.B. told Finn to be over by 5 P.M., but he planned to leave the Washington’s house at noon, just to make sure he made it in time. Noon gave him plenty of time to get across town on the bus and then let the sweat and anxiety that he accrued while wandering lost in the foreign neighborhood dry before showing up at the Dameron residence.

“Ooohhh, you gotta hot date you goin' to?” Mrs. Washington asks when he tries to slip out the front door without her noticing.

“It’s not like that, Moms” Finn tells her. And that's a new development, being able to address her as mom. But she's the closest to having a mother that he's had in a long time.

“Not like what, exactly?” she asks with an amused look and a hand on her hip.

“Not a date,” He mumbles.

“Speak up, boy. You done lived here since you were 18, you know my hearin' is failin'." 

Finn closes the front door and goes to sit on the couch.

"It's not a date. It's a party," he tells her. She sits next to him on the couch and grabs his hands in hers.

"Is the same young man that's got you all inna tizzy gon be there?" she asks him.

Since she has his hands in hers, it's not like he can easily make a getaway.

Instead, he deflects. Badly. He laughs, too loud. "Me? Young man? Me and a young man?" He laughs again.

He scrunches up his face and looks bewildered. 

"Moms, you know me. I'm aaallllll about the ladies. Can't get enough of them," he says with a waggle of his eyebrows.

She smacks him upside the head. "Boy, I am old, not deaf and certainly not blind. Cut the crap," she says with a withering look. 

"Now, I ain’t never seent you look this flustered and I know ain't no young lady the cause,” she says knowingly.

"Just so long as I get invited to the wedding, I don't care who it is you wanna marry."

He squeezes her hands, hoping beyond hope. "Really?"

She huffs a sigh. "Most the kids end up in a gang, in the dirt, or in jail 'round here, you know that. Even my own son," she sighs again. "You one of tha only ones that made it outta here to make something of yourself." She pats his hand. "I know it didn't last long, but you got outta here. Maybe you make it outta here again," she says with a smile.

Finn hugs her, and she hugs him back fiercely.

"Now, what time the party start? And where's it at?" she asks.

When he tells her, she looks at a clock and jumps up.

"Grab $10 outta my purse. You can't show up to a party without a bottle of some wine if your tryna woo someone.

"Go, go, go! Before you miss the bus!" she says as she rushes him out of the house. "You'll tell me all about it when you get back, y'hear?" she yells after him.

~~~

Finn knocks on the door of the very large house that he is reasonably sure is the Dameron residence at 4:55, a bottle of wine in hand.

An older gentleman answers the door with a light scowl.

“I’m sorry sir, I must have the wrong house," he says and turns to go.

"Wait," the man calls after him. "You're Finn, right?"

Finn turns around and comes back. "Yes, sir. Pleased to meet you," he says and shakes his hand.

"Han," the man supplies.

And suddenly, it clicks in Finns mind.

"Han? Han Solo? You're _the_ Han Solo?" Finn asks excitedly. 

He remembers when he was 12 and he stayed up until everyone else was asleep so he could sneak and read his foster brothers magazine that had an exposé on Han Solo, smuggler extraordinaire and war hero.

“Solo, huh?” Han says and rubs at the back of his neck. “Haven’t heard that one in a while.”

“Han Organa, nice to meet you,” Han says and ushers him into the house.

Han takes the bottle of wine from him and leaves Finn in the foyer to go put it away.

Finn stands awkwardly in the entryway, not really familiar with any of the people there. He thinks he sees one of the flight attendants from his flight, but it's not like he can impose his company on someone he only knows in passing.

He is saved from having to sneak back out the door by a woman who glides over to him.

"Finn, hi. I'm Leia. We've heard so much about you," she says, light dancing in her eyes.

"Have you?" he asks.

"Yes. B.B. can't stop talking about you," she tells him with a private smile.

Finn deflates a little at that until Leia links her arm through his and winks at him.

Leia drags Finn all around the house, introducing him to everyone and keeping him decidedly out of the company of one Poe Dameron.

He is first introduced to Chewbacca, Han’s best friend and fellow antiques dealer, who doesn’t actually speak English. Chewbacca makes a sound like a gargled yawn, which apparently is how he sounds when he talks, because everyone near them laughs.

“Don’t worry. No one understands him at first, but they always catch on,” Leia tells him with a placating pat to his bicep.

Next he’s introduced to Temmin “Please, call me Snap” Wexley. Finn is tempted, so tempted, to greet his as is appropriate of one military man to another. But he doesn’t have the right. Not anymore.

Instead, he congratulates him on his leave and asks when he has to go back, without really getting into the particulars.

Soon, Leia is leading him over to a bank of couches. Two woman are snuggled together, but they break apart from each other and stand when they Leia and Finn approach.

Leia introduces them as Rey and Jessika Pava. Jessika is shorter, with eyes that sparkle with mirth. Shaking her hand is like being in a competition where Finn doesn't know the rules.

Finn turns to Rey, and is transported back in time when he truly sees her in her many layers of fabric.

_A survivor, a woman shrouded in cloth, begins a prayer loudly. BR-1535 makes it so she never finishes it._

He shakes the memory, but it’s too late. Concern fills Jessika’s and Rey’s eyes, but not Leia’s, and he holds onto that like a lifeline.

“I’m sorry. It’s just, you look like someone I knew once,” he says by way of explanation to the women.

Through the night, Leia dominates his time, introducing him to every single partygoer, and it’s been over an hour since he got to the house that he finally does something about it.

“Mrs. Organa,” Finn says. They’re sitting on the couches with Rey and Maz who are deep in negotiations about an antique car that Maz has come upon.

“Please, call me General,” Leia says to him, straight-faced.

Finn sits in mute shock until Leia speaks again.

“I’m joking. You can call me Leia,” she tells him. But her inflection hasn’t changed, so he doesn’t know what to think.

Finn hedges his bets and addresses her as, ”General Leia.”

“This is Poe’s house?” he asks, slightly bewildered. It’s not a top-of-the-crust neighborhood, per se, but it is a very nice location, and did he forget to mention, the place was huge.

Leia looks offended by the question and Finn scrambles desperately to fix the wording.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that, I swear. I just meant that this place is kinda excessively large for just Poe and B.B.”

Leia arches an eyebrow. Rey giggles before turning back to her conversation with Maz.

“Unless... there’s a Mrs. Dameron and a gaggle of kids that he never mentioned?” he asks hesitantly.

 _Way to show your hand, Nakamura_ , Finn thinks morosely.

Leia laughs through her nose then, a small smile on her face.

“And here I was thinking you thought that I underpay my pilots,” she says.

“No!” Finn exclaims, just a little too loudly.

“No, no, no, no,” he says much more quietly. “I didn’t even know that you were his boss, I swear.”  
  
He slumps into the couch.

“Oh my Creator, I’ve made a fool of myself in front of his boss,” Finn says in a tiny groan to himself.

Leia pats his shoulder and seems to take pity on him. She explains that the house, affectionately nicknamed The Barracks, is only _mostly_ Poe’s. He bought the house, certainly, but cordoned off the sections that were solely his, solely Snap’s, solely Jessika’s, and what remained was communal.

"Poe says that he's paying off a debt, but I think the kid is just sentimental," Leia confides to him.

Then, she tells Finn, Rey came from her country to study aerospace engineering, Poe sponsored her stay, and one of the guest rooms became Rey’s room.

“Until Jessika got her act together,” Rey tells him with a wink and a fond look at the woman in question across the room.

Leia clears her throat.

“Finn, can you get me something to drink from the kitchen?” she asks him kindly.

“Sure,” he replies back easily. “Where-“

“It’s down that hall there,” she points. “First door on the right.”

Finn excuses himself from the group and walks to the kitchen.

The kitchen. Where Poe and B.B. are conveniently and currently located.

Finn panics and says, “Fancy meeting you two here,” with a drawl that does not fit his accent.

Poe and B.B. turn as one, but that’s probably because B.B. is sat atop Poe’s shoulders.

B.B. waves to Finn vigorously and Poe lets out a shocked, “Finn!”

Finn grins at the both of them.

“Leia sent me to get her something to drink,” he says by way of explanation.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Poe says with a gesture to the fridge. “Go on ahead. What’s our is hers,” he tells Finn with sincerity.

Finn pours the drink, but hesitates to leave the kitchen.

Poe pipes up with, “We’ve been meaning to come by and talk to you, but Chewie and B.B. have been locked in an argument for the last hour. We only got away because he asked us to get him something to drink. Said his throat was getting parched, arguing with the kid. Don't know how, the whole conversation was in sign, but,” Poe shrugged.

B.B. latches onto Poe's hair.

"Sorry, buddy. I forgot: No sudden shoulder movements," Poe looks up at B.B. and pats their knee.

Finn looks up at B.B. with a fond expression.

“Gave Chewbacca a run for his money, didn’t you?” he says to B.B.

Poe chuckles. “They like to be at Chewie’s height when they go toe to toe. Something about being at each others level so Chewie doesn't use his height to his advantage,” Poe offers as an explanation.

“That reminds me,” Finn says. “I learned some signs, and I wanted to run them past you, to see if I got it right.”

Poe smiles. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Finn replies with a matching grin.

Slowly, Finn signs the phrase <I THINK I LIKE YOU>.

Poe drops the cup he’s holding.

“You- You like, me?” Poe asks.

Finn laughs, which he immediately finds out is the Wrong Thing to Do.

"No," Finn starts, and that just turns the situation from Bad to Worse. Poe's not even smiling anymore. And that is unacceptable.

“No, it’s just, I learned all of this off of internet videos, and I keep confusing two signs. What I meant to say was,” Finn apologizes and then signs:

<I THINK I LOVE YOU.>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *confetti cannons* 
> 
> for the record, the asl signs for "like" and "love" look nothing alike. finn's just a goof.
> 
> up next: leia


	8. Leia Organa: Tired of the Bullshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she deserves so much better than ben "literally no chill" organa, so we’re just gonna pretend ben organa moved out at 18 and she adopted all these grown adults. okay? okay.

When the party starts at 4, every time the doorbell chimes, Poe drops whatever conversation he’s having to answer the door. He does it politely, of course, but he does it nonetheless.

After the fourth time, Leia puts a stop to it.

“Dameron, if you move to answer that door _one more time_ , I will dock your pay,” Leia warns from where she’s creeped up behind him.

Poe falters and turns to his boss.

“It’s my house, it would be impolite not to invite the guests in personally,” he argues.

“It’s only _mostly_ your house, and what’s impolite is not letting Pamich finish her story about her nephew’s basketball tournament,” Leia corrects with a nod to Poe’s conversational partner.

“Han,” Leia calls across the room to her husband. He’s deep into conversation with B.B., but he turns to her immediately.

“You’re on door duty. Do not, _under any circumstances_ , let Poe answer the door,” Leia commands with a warning eyebrow.

Han answers with a lazy salute and resumes the conversation.

Even after Leia’s declaration, every chime of the doorbell puts the entire party on hold. Everyone knows about Finn and Poe, and everyone wants to witness the moment that they become Finn-and-Poe.

B.B. and Jessika have the party billed as a “Welcome Back into Town, Snap” party to throw Poe off of the scent, but no one else is fooled by the thin excuse. Snap comes back to town at least once a month, and they never throw parties for it.

Truthfully, Leia had to do a lot of reshuffling at work to get this party to come together. Poe was scheduled to fly tomorrow, so she had to bump it to another one of her pilots. She had to give her bonus pay for the shift change, but Leia knows that it’s worth it.

Love and Life don’t always wait for each other.

All of the flight attendants wanted to come- even the new hires that haven’t worked with Poe yet- but that would be extremely bad form. She allowed Pamich and Sidra to come (since they were part of this from the beginning, and deserved to see their work pay off) and made everyone else pull straws to see who had to turn up for work.

The minute Finn walks in the door, Leia (and everyone else) is scrutinizing him. He’s tall, and definitely handsome. B.B. has attested to his personality, but at the same time, B.B. is 8 and loves everyone that isn’t mean. Leia won’t trust it until she can assess him personally.

She walks up over to where he is standing in the foyer, calling upon all of the training of her youth to make it the most graceful and terrifying walk that he has ever seen.

She introduces herself and immediately tests the waters.

She answers his query with, "Yes. B.B. can't stop talking about you," and watches closely for his reaction.

Finn wilts on the spot, and Leia thinks, _yes, this one’s a keeper._

She links her arm with his so he can’t get away, and takes him to Chewie.

“Now I know what all the fuss is about,” Chewie says with an appreciative glance at Finn.

Everyone laughs, because, yeah, they get it too. Finn, the poor lad, just looks confused.

Leia takes him to Snap next, since he is, after all, the excuse for the party.

Finn and Snap interact well, even though it’s clear Finn is floundering a bit. B.B.’s told her that Finn used to be in the army, and that it was a sensitive topic for him.

She looked into him, before the party started, to get a feel of what she was working with.

When she read that he served in ~~Ben~~ Kylo’s regiment, she was stricken.

Her son may not have spoken to her- or any of them, really- in over 15 years, but she know’s his methods, and she knows that no one ever leaves him whole.

Leia leads him over to Maz, because she needs Maz’s eyes to see what her own cannot.

Maz tugs Finn down until their eyes are on the same level, which is actually a sizable distance.

“You are the one we call Finn, yes?” Maz asks, looking at Finn’s eyes and probably into his soul.

“Yes, ma’am,” Finn answers.

“For one so young, you have seen many horrors,” she says after a minute of looking.

She reaches up a delicate hand and pats his cheek. “So many horrors, and not nearly enough happiness.”

Finn is left speechless, which is par for the course when people meet Maz for the first time.

“Ma’am, I-“ Finn starts before she cuts him off.

“You owe me no explanation, young Finn. Go in peace and enjoy the party,” Maz tells him with a small smile before walking away herself.

Iolo, Karé, Sidra, Ello, Kalonia, Pamich, Vober, Korr, and Brance all get the chance to size Finn up before Leia introduces him to Jessika and Rey.

Leia watches Finn extra closely when she introduces Rey. They all know that he is ex-military, but not much else. By the way he reacts to her appearance, Leia can guess where he was deployed to.

After introductions, Jessika slinks away to watch Finn from afar and Rey stays on to get to know him. After a stumbling start, they get on like a house on fire.

Maz comes over and sits next to Leia on the couch. Rey is enthusiastically explaining what goes into working as an engineer and mechanic, and Finn is paying apt attention, so neither of them are really notice the older women near them.

“This one will be good for Poe,” Maz tells her.

Leia nods. “I agree.”

Leia and Maz make small talk until Maz peaks Rey’s interest with talk of an antique car that she recently bought at auction.

She turns to Finn, expectant. She's waiting for his heart to trip over his tongue, and it does. Spectacularly.

Now that she knows his true intentions, she can give her blessing. She gives Chewie the signal and stalls Finn with stories until Poe and B.B. make their way to the kitchen. 

Leia sends Finn off, and when B.B. comes barreling out of the kitchen at top speed, she considers her work done.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowee, i hope i did leia justice. for those of you keeping track at home, i put up two chapters today, and there's two more to go. if anyone has any suggestions on feasible names for c3po and r2d2, i'm all ears


	9. Poe Dameron: Free at Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: finn voices some fairly negative views of himself when he starts ranting, so watch out for that big ass paragraph towards the beginning.
> 
> actual, explicit romance is ridiculously hard for me to write, but these two are ridiculously tactile, so hopefully that'll make up for it.

<I THINK I LOVE YOU> Finn signs, and Poe’s world tips off it’s axis.

Poe stands, frozen, unbelieving, until B.B. taps his ear. With mechanical movements, Poe lifts them from his shoulders and puts them on the ground.

B.B. is out of the kitchen like a shot.

Poe staggers forward a step and then pauses. This would be the absolute worst time for a misunderstanding.

“Are you sure? What you signed, did you mean it?” Poe asks cautiously.

Finn ducks his head, and looks back up at him.

“Dear Creator, I hope so,” he says.

Poe laughs weakly. “Just for clarification, what was it that you _think_ you signed?”

Finn looks at him and says, “That I love you.”

Poe backs into the counter and clings onto it for dear life.

“I’m gonna be honest with you for a minute, and after that, if you want to kick me out on my ass, I you can kick me out on my ass, no hard feelings,” Finn says earnestly.

Finn breaks eye contact, and that makes it easier in some ways and agonizing in others.

“When I gave you back your jacket, on the plane, I thought that that was the last time I was ever gonna see you. I mean, it’s not like we exactly have similar social circles." Finn starts pacing.

“But then you and B.B. dragged me out to breakfast, and I got to know you. Both of you. And it was amazing and like nothing that I’ve ever done before.”

Finn pauses his pacing, looks up and reestablishes eye contact. “Did you read the messages between me and B.B.? From that day?”

Poe shakes his head no because he hasn't, but also he doesn’t trust his voice in this moment.

“Well, most all of the messages were B.B. encouraging me to ask you out.”

Poe's breath catches in his throat.

“And I told them, I told them, there’s no way someone like _you_ ,” Finn pauses in his pacing to gesture at all of Poe, “would ever go for someone like _me_. I mean, you have the house, the job, a great kid, a family, friends," he ticks the list off of his fingers. "I have none of that to offer you. I’m unemployed, I was too dumb to find a way out and stick with it, I'm sleeping on my friend’s mom’s couch. My only friend, and he's servin' 5 years for possession," he laughs, and it's bitter, so bitter. "I have no real family, no friends cus no one wants to hang with if you ain't affiliated with a crew.” Tears glisten in Finn’s eyes.

Poe is still frozen, unable to reach out and comfort him.

“But I told B.B.,” Finn laughs mirthlessly, “But I told them, I’ll give it a shot. Because that kid? Super smart. _Extremely_ intuitive. They see a lot, they really do. And- And I could practically hear Lacey whispering in my ear, _'Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?_ '”

“But I guess, I- we, were wrong,” Finn says. He looks at Poe, who has not moved, not even reacted while he said all of those things that were painful to hear and probably felt worse to say. He looks at Poe, and his lack of reaction, and Finn gives up.

Finn makes his way to the door and finally, _finally_ , Poe snaps the fuck out of it and goes after him.

He grabs Finns hand and tugs him back into the kitchen before he really has the chance to leave.

“You weren’t wrong,” Poe says when he can finally get his mouth to open and his voice to work. He looks into Finn’s eyes and his heart splinters from what he sees there.

“I wasn’t?” Finn asks, with only the smallest hint of hope shining through the misery.

Poe swipes the pad of his thumb and smears the tear across Finn’s cheek.

“Finn,” and it was always a rush, calling him by that name so freely, “You could tell me that the sky is purple, and I’d wander why I spent my whole life thinking it as blue.

“And, you’re right, I do have the house, the job, and an amazing kid. But I’m missing one monumentally important piece to the puzzle.”

Finn looks at him quizzically.

“You.”

Later, Poe will tell him how he thought he was unworthy of Finn. How he has to leave for days at a time for work or just to be alone. How B.B. wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes, their heart racing in silent terror, and crawls into his bed. How he himself has nightmares, sometimes. Ones of fire and burning flesh that he can smell so, so strongly.

But for now, they’re kissing.

Poe doesn’t know who moved first, but when they meet, it’s like coming home. Which is ridiculous, because he’s already home. But he feels it, and he’s not going to ruin the moment by voicing it.

When the kiss is broken, Poe blinks owlishly at Finn.

“That was okay, right? I thought so, but-"

Finn groans. “Why are you using your mouth for talking?”

Poe is ready to argue back that that’s the primary function of mouths, and _wow, when did he get so chatty_? But Finn is kissing him again, and this time, it’s like Christmas or maybe New Years. 

“Oops,” Jessika says when she walks in on them, not long after. There’s not a hint of embarrassment in her voice, though.

Poe groans and thunks his forehead on Finn’s shoulder.

Jess smirks and goes to pour herself something to drink.

“Do you-“ Poe cuts himself off when it turns out that Jess is taking a _phenomenally_ long time to pour juice into a glass.

“ _Jess_ ,” he says, distressed. Poe tries to convey with his eyes just how much suffering she is causing him in this moment, but she just smirks.

“Sorry, Poe. Seems like everyones thirsty,” she says and pulls out a tray and 7 extra glasses.

Poe certainly does not whimper, but he does grab Finns hand and drags him out of the room.

“Be glad that _I_ was the democratically elected representative!” she yells after them.

Poe leads him down a short series of hallways to his room.

“Is this okay? Not moving too fast?” he asks Finn when he leads him into the room.

Finn nods, and they kiss again standing on the other side of Poe's closed door. Poe's thinking about taking notes about all the different feelings he feels when he's kissing Finn when Finn pulls away.

“I have a job interview at 7 tomorrow morning. I gotta go so I can catch the bus,” Finn says when Poe tries to continue the kiss.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Poe tells him. ”It’s past 8. You’re bus won’t even make it back home by 7.”

Finn arches an eyebrow, “I think you’re exaggerating, just a bit.”

Poe grins. “Maybe a little.”

He reluctantly does the responsible grown-up thing and goes into his closet to grab two jackets.

He tosses his mothers flight jacket to Finn.

“Here. It’s cold out there. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold before the big interview,” Poe says with a wink.

Finn freezes for a second, holding it.

“This is the jacket from the plane.” He sounds a little dazed.

Poe tugs on the jacket he's holding.

“Yeah, but it's raining, you didn't bring a jacket, and I happen to think that it suits you, so I’m willing to part with it,” he says.

Finn smiles at that. “Really now?”

“Well, I maybe I'm more of the joint-custody type,” Poe amends.

Finn puts on the jacket. “How do I look?”

Poe circles him slowly, looking him over thoroughly from head to toe.

"You look incredible."

~~~

The car pulls up to the Washington’s, and Poe cuts the lights. It's raining more heavily here than it was at Poe's house.

At some point during the trip, Finn slipped his hand into Poe's, but he doesn’t want to let it go just yet.

Finn start shrugging out of the jacket, still not letting go of Poe's hand, but Poe stops him.

“Whoa. I told you, it looks good on you. Keep it,” he tells him sincerely.

“What about the joint-custody agreement that we have?” Finn asks with a small smile.

“Well, I guess that means that you’re gonna have to keep coming around,” Poe says, trying for casual.

They smile at each other in the semi-dark, and Poe leans in to place a small peck on Finn’s lips, because he can.

“Now go in, before it starts hailing and I have to drag you back to the safety on my house,” Poe tells him.

Finn laughs but doesn’t get out just yet.

“You have a pen?” he asks.

Poe reluctantly removes his hand from Finn's and looks through the center console.

He passes over the pen, and Finn grabs ahold of his hand again.

“Hold still,” Finn tells him.

Carefully and oh so slowly, Finn writes out a phone number on Poe’s palm.

“This is to the house phone,” he explains.

Poe looks at him, and couldn't for the life of him tell you why his own eyes are misty.

“Good luck with your interview in the morning,” Poe says, and his voice certainly _does not crack._

Finn plants a kiss on the hand he’s still holding before slipping out of the car.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaahhhhhh!!!! did y'all know these two are the same height? so many height difference related plans, ruined. poe is totally eliza in "helpless" here. he was ssoooo ready to spill his guts but finn got there first.
> 
> i do not endorse driving with one hand, btw. it's dangerous as fuck and right up there with not using your blinkers when you drive.
> 
> lastly, is it wrong to gender c3p0 and r2d2?


	10. B.B., age 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy time jump, batman. 
> 
> shoutout to torwithoutanh and goldpen for helping me name some droids.

B.B. tiptoes down the hall around dawn the day of their 9th birthday.

Of course, Auntie Jess’ and Uncle Snap’s rooms are nowhere near Poe’s and B.B.’s own, and Auntie Rey- the only light sleeper of the bunch- left earlier with Chewie to go get Uncle Luke from the airport, but B.B. thought that the tiptoeing had a nice effect.

They haven’t put in their hearing aids yet, because they’ve learned through trial and error that its better to be safe than traumatized.

B.B. knocks on Poe’s door and waits impatiently for him to answer.

When their dad cracks the door open, it’s with sleep still in his eyes and a deadly case of bed-head.

<WHAT HAPPEN? YOU UP EARLY> Poe signs with a yawn.

B.B. rears back, practically mortally wounded by his comment. Their dad _should_ know what day today is, and he _definitely_ should know the traditions the day entails.

Poe grins, and opens the door wider.

Finn is standing there with a plate of cinnamon rolls, a candle stuck in the middle.

<TRICKED YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY> Poe signs with a smug look.

B.B. _really_ wants to stomp on his foot, but that would probably get their access to the cinnamon rolls denied, so they don’t.

They hug Poe tightly around the waist, and hug Finn more carefully, because he’s holding the goods.

They walk over and sit at the foot of the bed. Poe grabs a lighter from the nightstand to light the candle.

<HAPPY BIRTHDAY B.B.> Finn signs when his hands are free.

B.B. is really proud of Finn's progress with learning Sign. He's not fluent yet, but he's getting there. B.B. and Rey have been teaching him when he comes over, but he’s not over as much as everyone would like.

<THANK YOU> B.B. signs back, trying to be gracious and not at all impatient for the plate of fluffy goodness awaiting them.

They think of their wish and blow out the candle.

There are 9 rolls, and B.B. graciously lets Poe and Finn have 2 cinnamon rolls each, leaving them with 5 rolls for themself.

Their dad nudges Finn and probably tells him about how last year B.B. ate 6 of the cinnamon rolls and only left 2 for everyone else to fight over.

When the rolls are gone, they lay on the bed next to each other and soak in the comfort of each other and cinnamon rolls past.

It's not long until B.B. hops out of the bed and dramatically signs <WE LATE. PARTY STARTING SOON. PUT CLOTHES ON> before leaving to find their own clothes and hearing aids.

  
~~~

  
B.B. chose to have their 9th birthday at Auntie Leia, Uncle Han, and Chewie's house, just like they did every year since they were 5 and their dad started letting them pick the location of the party.

Auntie Leia’s house is, to B.B., the perfect location. There’s an ancient swing in the backyard that no one but B.B. gets to use, there’s lots of trees that are perfect for stringing up a piñata in, and there's plenty of room for dancing.

Plus, Auntie Leia gets to drag all the men who have wandered off during the year back home.

Grandpa Kes is over, which is always fun. Usually, B.B. and Poe have to fly to him because he doesn’t like to leave home. But he always comes for B.B.’s birthday, and it’s B.B.’s one opportunity a year to tell him the latest gossip with other people around to corroborate it.

The best part about having their party here, though, is that Auntie Leia gets to pester Finn incessantly to come work for her at the airlines.

He always tells her no, because he says he's still trying to figure out things for himself and make his own way.

B.B. and Uncle Snap think it’s because he doesn’t want to get too close, in case it doesn’t work out.

It makes B.B. want to scream.

 ~~~

Good manners (and Poe) dictate that B.B. has to personally introduce Finn to everyone that he hasn't met already while their dad goes to fire up the grill.

Grandpa Kes and Uncle Luke can wait 'til later, because their both separately hiding out somewhere in the house.

All they have to do right now is introduce Tudy and Pio and they're free to do whatever for the rest of the party practically.

B.B. drags Finn under one of the trees closest to the back porch and signs <WAIT HERE> as they go to find wherever it is Tudy is.

Tudy is B.B.’s best friend. She’s 12 and mute like B.B. Whenever Pio isn’t looking, she signs rude things about him that leave the both of them gasping for breath. She's the best, but their dad thinks that she's a "bad influence".

When B.B. finds her, they have to hold Tudy's hand so she doesn't jet away before introductions are made.

<THIS A-R-T-O-O, ARTOO. BUT WE CALL HER T-U-D-Y, TUDY> B.B. signs.

Finn looks at them quizzically, but B.B. just shrugs their shoulders. They don’t get it either, but Tudy is practically perfect so their not going to question her naming choices.

Tudy slips B.B.'s grip as soon as she's no longer needed.

Now for the hard part.

B.B. turns around to look for Pio to introduce him. Predictably, he isn't far away from where B.B. and Finn are, probably waiting for his own introduction.

B.B. cautions Finn to wait once again, and after a short signed conversation with Pio, they bring him over to introduce the two.

<HE MY SCHOOL COUNSELOR. HIS NAME LONG, WE CALL HIM P-I-O, PIO> B.B. signs. Finn doesn’t need to know all the details, and they're sure that Pio is eagar to tell him himself.

B.B. isn't even out of earshot when Pio starts regaling Finn with the history behind his full name of Charles Cyril Carington Pio the 3rd.

B.B. leaves Finn to his doom and promises themselves that they will make it up to him one day.

Right now, it's their mission to try some of all the food and make sure Tudy doesn't scare Uncle Luke away again.

~~~

When it's time to dance, B.B. makes sure to dance at least one dance with everyone. They didn't get a live band this year at B.B.'s suggestion, but pre-recorded music works just as well.

Uncle Snap and Chewie beg out of the dancing before it starts, like they do every year.

Grandpa Kes gets B.B.'s first dance, and Poe get's B.B.'s second. They're both the absolute best dancers that B.B. knows, whipping across the floor like professionals.

Uncle Han dances to the traditional music like a fish out of water, no matter how many hours B.B. has put into teaching him. It's to be expected at this point though, so they don't give him grief about it.

B.B. picks a slow song to dance with Maz to even though they know that she's not as frail as she looks.

Auntie Leia, as always, executes every dance perfectly.

Uncle Luke is no slouch either.

Auntie Jess and Auntie Rey dance with B.B. in a group dance that involves all of their limbs and twirling in circles so fast they're feet hardly ever touch the ground.

B.B. watches as their dad teaches Finn some of the dances throughout the night. It's very sweet, and B.B. hopes someone caught it on camera.

When B.B. takes a break from the dance floor, Auntie Jess and Auntie Rey recruit them to help warm up the tortillas for dinner. Between nauseating kisses that make B.B. threaten to call the Food Safety Department, Jess and Rey fill them in on all the latest gossip.

Auntie Leia comes in after a while to get the beans and rice off of the stove and gives the three of them a knowing look.

Later, when it’s time to blow out the candles, everyone gathers in the living room. B.B. is already stuffed to bursting on churros and arriz con leche- not to mention all the food that they ate for dinner- but it would be _criminal_ not to have a piece of the colorful cake. Everyone looks happy, even Uncle Luke and especially Tudy, who is hanging off of his leg.

After cake but before presents, B.B. introduces Uncle Luke to Finn as Auntie Leia's identical twin, and leaves it to the adults to explain the rest.

Since B.B. and Tudy are the only ones under the age of 25, they're the only ones who get to take a swing at the piñata, while all of the slightly tipsy adults pretend like they don't mind not being able to take a swing.

Chewie is in charge of piñata leveraging this year, and he doesn't make it easy for them. B.B. and Tudy both have three turns at bat before Tudy manages to knock the candy loose.

They both scramble for the best candy. Later, they'll trade each other all of the candy that they have and don't want for the candy that the other has and they do want.

But right now, it's bragging rights at stake.

~~~

  
B.B. leaves the party deplorably early at 9 to go with their dad to drop Finn off at home.

Before they leave, Poe crouches down in front of B.B. and says with his most convincing voice, “Are you sure you want to leave now? Grandpa Kes and Uncle Luke both leave in the morning. Plus, who knows when Tudy will be around again? You can slip in a couple more hours with them and I can come back and pick you up.”

B.B. shakes their head no. <I GO WITH YOU. I LIKE FINN MOM. SHE GIVE ME COOKIES.>

Poe chuckles and ruffles B.B.’s hair. “Okay. If your sure, go tell everyone bye, and make sure to give Grandpa Kes and Uncle Luke extra hugs and kisses since you won’t see them for a while.”

B.B. giggles silently and scampers away.

~~~

B.B. likes Mrs. Washington's house. It's a lot like Auntie Leia's. She always feeds B.B. candy and shows them pictures of Finn and her son in high school.

As always, Mrs. Washington does not fail to deliver. She has an entire cookie cake baked and ready for them. It’s cut to look like the number 8.

Finn and Poe look at each other and everyone quizzically, but B.B. and Mrs. Washington hold their tounges (so to speak).

Over slices of cookie cake, Mrs. Washington apologizes for missing B.B.'s party. She's notthe best at Sign yet, bit she's picking up on it very fast.

B.B. is quick to reassure her with a hug that work is important and that this more than make up for it.

 Probably one day B.B. will ask Mrs. Washington if they can call her grandma, because they've never had one and she feels like one.

Realistically, they know that they had a grandma, probably two grandmas even, but they've never met them, so it doesn't feel real.

Realistically, B.B.'s knows that Auntie Leia is the closest person that they've had to having an actual Grandma. But B.B. knows that that's a touchy subject for her, so they don't bring it up.

But today, they're grinning at each other, thriving on the private joke that they have.

And it's more than good enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that’s right, luke flys in from wherever the funk he is soley to attend bb’s 9th birthday. fight me.
> 
> i still don’t know how b.b. ended up under poe’s sole parental care, but here are some popular head canons that i have w myself: trans poe, orphaned in a fire and poe adopted them, bb’s other parent couldn’t be there (bc of career, family, religion, etc.), and surrogacy bc poe really wanted a kid.
> 
> thanks to all who read and leave kudos/comments. thanks to those who read and didn't leave kudos/comments. either way, if you enjoyed this, i enjoyed writing it. its been one hell of a ride, and i can't wait to read all the new stuff that's been published since i started writing this.


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